A few weeks ago, I woke up and felt… nothing. My body seemed so far away from me. I wasn’t sure what emotion I was experiencing. Sadness? Frustration? Everything seemed a huge, strange blur. I was numb.
The day rolled on, but eventually, I broke down into tears. That day had really gotten to me, and the stress of everything poured out at last. I was worried about so many different things, I was restless, I was tired, I was overwhelmed, unable to concentrate…
This is the outcome of spending weeks at a time totally on edge. Trying to work my day job, my side hustles, deal with family, friends, a really negative living situation, a house move…
All in all, the rush to get everything done, to just be through that period of unease and endless lists of responsibilities, had taken its toll. I wanted so badly to get everything done that I forgot to take care of myself in the process.
After months of mounting stress, I’d suddenly found myself just dumping all of it. I let the thousand things I was carrying crash to the floor.
Afterwards, I felt better.
Slowly, one at a time, things came off the list. I realised that the mounting worries had seen themselves through. Most things were either dealt with, or I was just too tired to keep rushing around, acting on everything at the same time. I realised something important:
The dangers of a rushed life seem obvious when you step back, but easy to miss in the moment.
Without noticing the way we rush around to just ‘get things done’, we can so easily slip into a life that’s barely present. The rush ends up taking over; we get nothing but numbness, in order to be able to continue.
I don’t want to live a numb life. I showed myself that months or years can go by that easily, without even realising. How could I stop that from becoming my story?